Thread: The Perils of Openheartedness

  1. #1

    The Perils of Openheartedness

    Secular Buddhist Doug Smith discusses the perils of openheartedness (approx. 14 mins)

    Any thoughts about the video?

  2. #2
    Global Moderator
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Another interesting talk. The loving kindness meditation I've done for 30 years or so starts with someone you like rather than yourself. Having said that, the first part of the meditation is always 'checking in' on yourself, relaxing and even wishing yourself well. Some really find this hard, that they don't in some way deserve to be happy. In terms of other people you find it hard to wish well to, the idea that giving metta is unconditional is important. Conditional metta is not 'metta' but something else. The hardest thing about unconditional is that there is no two way process. People don't treat us better, and maybe worse.

    So why do it? I found it easier to motivate myself when I understood that what was happening was there was one more person in the world being openhearted and one less closed-hearted, and that this was enough. It didn't matter that I couldn't see any change in myself or others. In my experience things change in me so gradually I can't possibly see them, although there was the time when I suddenly realised I no longer enjoyed going to the pub and having one too many drinks, and I stopped going.

  3. #3
    Forums Member Element's Avatar
    The Metta Sutta begins with:

    This is what should be done by those who are skilled in goodness,

    and have known the state of peace.
    Yanta santaṁ padaṁ abhisamecca.

    Snp 1.8
    It appears a calm understanding of what is ethically right & wrong is a prerequisite for metta.

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