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Thread: Friendship on the Path

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by JadeRabbit View Post
    Hi,

    I do value friendship though and still feel a weird pressure to 'belong' to a offline Sangha and support them.
    Well although its not quite the same, you're always welcome to 'belong' here with us, JR, I've been missing your posts!

  2. #12
    Global Moderator Esho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JadeRabbit View Post
    I do value friendship though and still feel a weird pressure to 'belong' to a offline Sangha and support them.

    Actually, reading Gil's article made me feel a bit depressed about it all
    Hello JadeRabbit,

    Don't feel a bit depressed; in my personal experience I don't have sangha and I don't need it. It is not needed in order to practice the path. Also I don't feel the need for it. I practice happily alone with my husband. I just read suttas in uposatha day and I meditate as much as possible. That is all I do and I feel at peace with my self and with the rest of the world.

    Take care...

  3. #13
    Forums Member JadeRabbit's Avatar
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    @Aloka & Esho

  4. #14
    Forums Member trusolo's Avatar
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    Just my two cents from my own perspective: I too do not belong to a sangha and have only two friends that I somewhat keep in touch. I am quite OK with it. It doesn't have to be any syndrome, it is what it is. I don't like the whole exercise of activities one must do to "make friends" - seems a bit artificial to me. My older sister and brother are the exact opposite! They are still in touch with their Kindergarten teachers!

    As mentioned by Esho, ultimately you are on your own anyway. My wife is a better Buddhist than me and she doesn't even consider herself as one. She just does her own thing and comes to very similar conclusions on her own. Occasionally, she does read some stuff or watch some dhamma talks that I forward to her but thats about it.

  5. #15
    Forums Member justusryans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trusolo View Post
    My wife is a better Buddhist than me and she doesn't even consider herself as one. She just does her own thing and comes to very similar conclusions on her own. Occasionally, she does read some stuff or watch some dhamma talks that I forward to her but thats about it.
    I feel the same way about mine. I listen to the Dhamma talks with her, and she likes to keep track of what I’m reading so she knows what Not to get me for my birthday. But she doesn’t call herself a Buddhist. If she’s confused about anything I try to give her a book that describes the same question she may have. She doesn’t sit, and that’s okay with me too.

    I’m always ok for a conversation. Maybe not in person... but certainly online in the forums.


    Mike


  6. #16
    Forums Member Olderon's Avatar
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    There is a time tested trite truism, which I first heard in one of the 12 Step Programs, when l was learning to abstain from mind altering substances as a novice on the buddhist path: "If you want friends, you must be a friend."

  7. #17
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    Since I stopped going to the Buddhist centre there are few opportunities for me to discuss or comment on all things Buddhist, so this kind of opportunity is good for me. I could never be as open in some ways with people I was with at the centre as I was trying to be mindful of what they felt about the centre, and I was quite critical about things at the centre and about the leader (in my own head rather than out loud). I still try to be mindful when talking to you guys, but at least I can choose which conversations to join, or at least comment on. I also hope that any comments I make may be of some use to someone, even perhaps to someone who only reads comments without joining in.

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