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Thread: I am lost

  1. #11
    Global Moderator Esho's Avatar
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    Hi KD,

    Only my 2 cents. As Aloka has advised you, try to practice metta meditation as much as you can. This meditation is not to forgive or forget but to pacify your mind generating a special kind of energy that will heal you. Practice first metta for something you like and care like a pet -a dog or a cat- . Think in it and then fill it with a bright light warm and golden. Stay there for a while until it gets strong and shiny. Then transfer it to somebody you love deeply, then try to practice with someone who has no special feeling for you; a neutral person. Then start slowly with people with which you have trouble including your father and at the very end practice metta for yourself.

    You will see that the hardest metta realization is the one you have to do for yourself. Leaving yourself at the end will permit that the metta energy will be strong and well focused. At the end when the meditation stops you will feel yourself light, happier and with that burden solved.

    Take care KD


  2. #12
    Forums Member KDonahue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KathyLauren View Post
    ... if you find that you can't let it go, don't beat yourself up about it. Just try not to hold onto it.

    Om mani padme hum
    Kathy
    I guess I have trouble seeing the gray areas. It's a black and white concept right now. But I need to accept that it happened, that it wasn't my fault, and that I am ok. That I am not that person but the new person I am today.

    Thank you

  3. #13
    Forums Member KDonahue's Avatar
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    oh thank you so much! I appreciate it

  4. #14
    Forums Member KDonahue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by philg View Post
    I don't think there's any point in forgiving and forgetting when we are talking about extreme behaviour. The main thing is working on yourself, taking on board that you are suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome and moving on from there. Buddhist practices can help, such as mindfulness meditation, but they need to be embedded in some kind of programme that helps your particular needs. What you don't need is someone saying that you have to wish those people well in metta practice too soon, or you will be feeling guilty about not being able to do so. Maybe best to see it as a long term project and get some other help too, such as Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme which combines the best of different approaches. This website gives you a good introduction:https://mbct.co.uk/
    Thank you, I truly appreciate it!

  5. #15
    Forums Member KDonahue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Element View Post
    …..

    Again, please develop a vision of your own inner goodness. I think raising up & knowing your own inner goodness is a way to overcome this.

    Kind regards
    Thank you for breaking it down like this. I will definitely be incorporating "I am a good person. I wish to do what is right. I do not harm others or allow others to harm others" into my meditation. My heart is happy reading this, thank you again.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aloka View Post
    It wasn't my intention in #7 to imply that anyone has to do Metta practice! I thought I'd mention it because I found it helpful myself, having endured verbal abuse and physical beatings from my father, until the time I was able to leave home for another part of the country at the age of 18 - and then continued to feel a lot of resentment about him for a long time afterwards.

    This is an article about loving kindness (metta) practice which includes a guided meditation, from American Buddhist teacher Sharon Salzberg, who co-founded the Insight Meditation Society at Barre, Massachusetts, with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. The website is "mindful.org" and Jon Kabat-Zinn (mentioned by philg) is on the board of advisors there:

    "Why Loving-Kindness Takes Time"

    https://www.mindful.org/loving-kindn...aron-salzberg/


    ~ and in it she says:





    .
    Sorry Aloka. I didn't think you did, but I know there may be people out there who might say that metta practice is the answer, and that you need to include someone in your practice who has done you harm. It's good to clarify things because I know there are lots of people who read posts without posting themselves, and they may misunderstand or take away something that wasn't meant. It was a kind of general warning about stuff people may come across.

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