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Thread: Death

  1. #11
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    Lisehull is right. My reply is very intellectualized. The meditation is intended to light a fire under oneís butt; I brought it up here, because Iíve found it more conducive to acceptance and letting go.

    Youíve got a lot of bad news all at once, dwlemen. It takes time to process. You say you donít know where to start or where to go to do that, but youíve already identified the problem: You want life, to see your kids grow up, to meet your grandkids, to enjoy your twilight years, but youíre afraid itíll be taken from you. Youíre clinging. It causes panic, anger, grief... Knowing that is a good start in processing it.

  2. #12
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    So, as I said, for many of us (including not just me in this forum) it's about being dead, not existing any longer, a body rotting, and so forth. I am skeptical about rebirth, but even if it does happen, who I am now, this body, will no longer exist, will be rotting in a grave, or burned up in a crematorium. I am terrified about this. dwlemen and I are pretty much thinking along the same lines. Telling me I am not a self, empty, etc., doesn't ease the terror.

  3. #13
    Forums Member chill9's Avatar
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    re the panicky thing - do you not find though, perhaps when you do breathing-focused meditating, that sometimes you understand you've been holding a tension, bodily, and when you release it, your breaths are perhaps a little bit... 'rapid' - i guess is the word - and your abdominal muscles are a little bit trembly ?
    -
    I find, and I hope you might find too, that staying with sensations as well, rather than just emotions, and blowing breath out - perhaps with pursed lips - or making a "ffff" sound - whatever you opt for that feels better -

    but emphasizing exhaling .... does go towards easing the experience (....of thinking those things about dying) xx

    Recognize fear, acknowledge it, breathe it out xx

    [perhaps let your emotions be just the surf, on the deeper wave of your breath]

    /: -)

  4. #14
    Forums Member chill9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisehull View Post
    So, as I said, for many of us (including not just me in this forum) it's about being dead, not existing any longer, a body rotting, and so forth. I am skeptical about rebirth, but even if it does happen, who I am now, this body, will no longer exist, will be rotting in a grave, or burned up in a crematorium. I am terrified about this. dwlemen and I are pretty much thinking along the same lines. Telling me I am not a self, empty, etc., doesn't ease the terror.
    xxx

  5. #15
    This talk "Confronting Fear" by Gil Fronsdal of the USA Insight Meditation Centre might be helpful in some way:

    http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/5573.html



  6. #16
    Here's Ven Thich Nhat Hahn talking for just over a minute about the fear of death:






  7. #17
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    Well, I have heard this from Thich Nhat Hahn on more than one occasion and have read his book on the subject. The notion of "transformation" that he suggests is somewhat soothing to me, BUT it doesn't really eradicate the panic I have about being dead, non-existing in the flesh.

  8. #18
    Forums Member dwlemen's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the insights.

    I also found this video, https://youtu.be/xqeXuC2sI5U by Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu. Some of what he says goes along with what you all have been saying. I suppose my fear/terror of death is just a manifestation of attachment. It's one thing to work on not being attached to the desire to have a new car, or fancy house, it's another the work on not being attached to existing.

    Geek tangent: reminded me of in Empire Strikes Back when Luke tried to use the force to lift his ship. He couldn't because it was too big. Yoda then did it w/o effort. I suppose house and life are similar for me. I can see, intellectually, that my fears of death, and everything I'll lose when it happens, is attachment and not really different than the more superficial things.

    So, as a beginning meditator, should I be focusing on just the "low hanging fruit", or should I be trying to tackle this? I can say that, if my mind does end up wandering towards death during meditation, it usually ends it. I often don't even bother to try on doctor days.

    As always, thanks for all the help!

    Peace,

    -Dave

  9. #19
    Hi Dave,

    I think when meditating ,if you just keep your awareness with the breath and if you notice your mind wandering, just bring the awareness back to the breathing again.

    All living things on this planet have to die, so its good to be able to relax and just accept that.

    "Finding the Missing Peace" is a little meditation book by Ajahn Amaro which you might find helpful:

    https://cdn.amaravati.org/wp-content...jahn_Amaro.pdf


  10. #20
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    Hi,

    I'm think that I'm having the same problem/worry about the non exsisting thing.
    Will meditation help to ease worry and panic about death and dying?
    I'm hoping that over time I'll be able to let go of the self and be at peace with it.

    Jim

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