Buddhism and not being popular

[ripemango]

This will prob come off as being silly and vain, but I would still appreciate some guidance concerning this.
There is a group of people I interact with professionally and I'm not as popular as other members of the group. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I don't plan on making attempts to be more popular in the group, but I would like to come to terms with it. I have read some Buddhist thoughts on the subject and that I should be rejoicing for this chance to shed my attachment to ego. I would just appreciate some readings (preferably online), thoughts, advice, and suggestions.

Thanks.

[nibbuti]

Whoever construes 'equal,' 'superior,' or 'inferior,' by that he'd dispute;
whereas to one unaffected by these three, 'equal,' 'superior' do not occur.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...4.09.than.html

75. One is the quest for worldly gain, and quite another is the path to Nibbana. Clearly understanding this, let not the monk, the disciple of the Buddha, be carried away by worldly acclaim, but develop detachment instead.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...p.05.budd.html

....

[Element]

In five ways, young householder, should a clansman minister to his friends and associates as the North:

(i) by liberality,
(ii) by courteous speech,
(iii) by being helpful,
(iv) by being impartial,
(v) by sincerity.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...31.0.nara.html

****

[Element]

Monks, eleven advantages are to be expected from the release (deliverance) of heart by familiarizing oneself with thoughts of loving-kindness (metta), by the cultivation of loving-kindness, by constantly increasing these thoughts, by regarding loving-kindness as a vehicle (of expression) and also as something to be treasured, by living in conformity with these thoughts, by putting these ideas into practice and by establishing them. What are the eleven?

1. He/she sleeps in comfort. 2. He/she awakes in comfort. 3. He/she sees no evil dreams. 4. He/she is dear to human beings. 5. He/she is dear to non-human beings. 6. Devas (gods) protect him/her. 7. Fire, poison and sword cannot touch him/her. 8. His/her mind can concentrate quickly. 9. His/her countenance is serene. 10. He/she dies without being confused in mind. 11. If he/she fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he/she will be reborn in the brahma-world.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit....016.piya.html

***

[Aloka]

I don't plan on making attempts to be more popular in the group, but I would like to come to terms with it. I have read some Buddhist thoughts on the subject and that I should be rejoicing for this chance to shed my attachment to ego. I would just appreciate some readings (preferably online), thoughts, advice, and suggestions

Hi ripemango,

Perhaps you could try doing some Metta (loving kindness/goodwill) practice (5 minute video)

[daveylee]

An intriguing issue you raise ripemango. Vain it may very well be, yet universal I think. In my own life, most conflicts have arisen due to my attachment to ego. I want to be accepted. I want my ideas to be accepted. I want my opinions to be accepted. I want to feel that my place in the group is significant. I dont think I want such to excess, yet I acknowledge this attachment to ego.

As I myself struggle with this attachment to ego, I offer no solutions. I only reply to state that you are not alone, and I am looking forward to considering the input of others on this topic.

[ripemango]

thank you for the insightful replies everyone

[Blues Man]

Can there be peace in the presence of a desire not resisted or acted upon? If there is a feeling of lacking in not being popular, would that feeling return if popularity ceased?

[isthatso]

I don't have so much a desire to be popular, more a disdain for those who are. Can't understand why they are so popular. Can't others see through them?

[The Thinker]

Most of the people who are popular or even famous are not having a good morality because they feel on top of others and they feel they can say and do what they want and get away with it. so in my view thats not much to strive after.

Just be you self and let life pass. just be aware of your own morality and how you act upon other, then i think in the end, you are the one who have gained the most in your life among your friends and in your professional work :)

The thinker