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Jacaranda
20 Jan 15, 20:25
To cut a long story short,I've been in my job for 2.5 yrs. I initially started this job full of enthusiasm,and positivity.Not long after I started,I realised my boss is manipulating,controlling and corrupt.After 6 mths I went off work with stress for 2 weeks.

My boss rang me at home and stated that,thanks to me,he was being investigated by HR. I returned to work,and endured a bad atmosphere.It was obvious the boss didn't want me in the office with him. Anyway we seemed to sort out our differences for a while and all was good.

In the last 6 mths the boss has piled more work on me,and "forgot"to tell payroll of my pay increment last Aug,which means I didn't get my annual pay rise. This man is a troubled person. Always drama going on in his life,and smokes cannabis regularly. Two weeks ago,I handed in my notice.I just couldn't take it anymore.

The big boss above my boss came to see me.I didn't tell her everything,as I was frightened it would get back to my boss,and it would affect my future reference. I did tell her about something that happened recently that had upset me a lot. My boss had to see the boss after me,and when he returned to the office,he was acting frosty with me.Due to shift changes,I haven't seen him for more than 3 days but today I did.

I have spent all day,in an office with him. He has probably said 6 words to me all day,and that seemed strained. When I got home,I just sat crying.I think now I am suffering from depression,caused through stress at work. I do have another job lined up but...my present job is 5 mins walk,whereas the new job,I would need a car to get to.I dont' work weekends,but the new job involves some weekends,and a pay cut. I just know if I stay in my present job,I am not going to get any peace of mind,but I am afraid to let go.Any advice please?:(

fletcher
20 Jan 15, 21:42
Get out of that situation, take the new job until something better comes along.
Life is too short to put up with being treated like that.
Don't allow yourself to become depressed see this as a challenge to make a better life for yourself.
One doors closes another will open.
Go for it, good luck, be positive.
Gary

srivijaya
21 Jan 15, 09:28
I agree with fletcher, get out asap and put it behind you. This kind of thing has happened to me on more than one occasion and it can be very destructive, but we don't really 'feel' it so much until it's too late.

There's an old adage, that if you drop a frog into a pan of boiling water it will jump out, whereas if you put it into a pan of cold water and slowly heat it up, it doesn't move. We're like that, hanging on to situations and people where things were once good but slowly turn negative.

Some people too can be very controlling and manipulative, turning on the Mr/Ms nice-guy when it suits them and then putting you into impossible situations the next moment to pile on the pressure. Best avoided. Life's too short for that kind of nonsense.

It's not your fault btw, although you may somehow feel it is. Guaranteed, your boss is like that with everyone in his life.

Jacaranda
21 Jan 15, 12:00
Thankyou both for replying.I really was on a low ebb yesterday when I returned home from work. I rang in sick this morning and am not supposed to be at work until Monday now.Thats if I go back. I'm afraid this boss shows two different sides to himself at work. A nasty one to me (and others)and a "Good Boss side"to the boss above him.

Unfortunately the boss above him is based elsewhere and we hardly see her. I think apart from his behaviour,whats spurned my low mood is the fact that I am playing victim atm. Being constantly got at and picked on makes me feel like that. Usually in any other situation,I would stand up for myself,but I know if I did this at work,I would lose because he's the boss.

I did an hour of yoga plus meditated yesterday to ground myself and I am feeling slightly better today. I will repeat this now daily. I've had to lie before to protect this guy and that did not feel good at all. Yes its time I moved on.Its clearly not working for me anymore. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts,I really appreciate it.xx

Jacaranda
27 Jan 15, 18:14
Hi just thought I would update.I didn't go back to work!;D I gave the issue some deeper thought,and just could not face it anymore.My health is more important than any job.Just too many negative forces in that work place and I am looking forward to hopefully working with more easy going,cheerful people.xx

fletcher
27 Jan 15, 18:28
Yay! Well done!
You won't regret that decision. Let's hope this makes your boss realise he needs to stop treating people in that way.

Aloka
28 Jan 15, 22:13
Hi just thought I would update.I didn't go back to work!;D I gave the issue some deeper thought,and just could not face it anymore.My health is more important than any job.Just too many negative forces in that work place and I am looking forward to hopefully working with more easy going,cheerful people.xx

Hope things keep improving for you now, Jacaranda!

:hug:

Jacaranda
30 Jan 15, 16:29
Thankyou for the support and for listening. I have another full time job to go to,also have an interview for another on Monday.So depending how the Monday one goes,I might have a choice of which job I would prefer.I actually enjoyed the work I did in my old job,but just couldn't stand it any longer being bullied. Thanks once again for caring,it means a lot to me xxxx