View Full Version : My husband died

16 Nov 14, 14:52

Just to update anyone who read my previous posts. My husband died last week. His death from cancer was a very painful one and all I felt was compassion for him and relief that he is now at peace.

I remembered and practiced all I have learned from my study of Buddhism. I reassured him, was quiet and calm always around him. When the end was near I quietly asked him to let go when he was ready and that all was well, I would be ok. He went peacefully in the hospice. I did not create any scenes, I was so calm that people were amazed.

Now begins my private grief. I have a massive craving for solitude. I am a private person but I also have a lot of friends and family. I have asked them to leave me be for the moment. I am fine being at home by myself, just my lovely dog for company, and getting things done and in order.

His soul has gone now, I will never see him again and I know I will come to terms in time. I think due to practising meditation and the principles of Buddhism I am able to be quiet and reflective about what has happened rather than wasting energy on railing against it.

16 Nov 14, 15:24
Hello Millyone,

Please accept my sincere condolences on your husband's passing.

I read your post with total admiration of your courage and peacefulness. Your willingness to be with this tragic and life-changing event will see you through the grieving process.

Here is something just for you which I came across today in a book called 'Dancing with Life' by Phillip Moffitt: 'Long before you find final liberation from the cause of your suffering, just learning to be with it brings enhanced peace and meaning in your life'.

With Metta during these challenging times,

16 Nov 14, 15:44
Dear Milly,

Sending you sympathy and love.

Please keep in touch.

Aloka x :hug:

17 Nov 14, 13:21
Thanks both.

I will look up that book 'Dancing with Life'.

Funny, when the worst you could imagine actually happens, it is not like you ever thought it would be. Also, the fear evaporates because there is nothing left to fear! It is a strange time.

17 Nov 14, 17:28
Dearest Milly. I am sorry to hear of your loss, but I know from your posts that the love between you both was so very strong that this will see you through. Don't feel you have to be strong Milly, just hold that love in your heart and let yourself feel what you are feeling. Bless you both and Thankyou for the wonderful teaching you have given us. Love. Jonno

28 Nov 14, 08:11
oh thanks Jonno and each of you,
I am all right. I am coping. From now onwards it is just me and I will join back in on this forum as normal.
It is a brand new phase of life which I am embracing whilst of course processing all that has happened. It will take time but I am adapting to living alone and learning all the time.

So normal service to be resumed, just act natural around me! Believe me when I say I am going to be fine.

28 Nov 14, 08:53
I am all right. I am coping. From now onwards it is just me and I will join back in on this forum as normal.

I'm so happy that you are coping, Milly - and I'm looking forward to reading your posts here again.

Aloka :hug:

Sea Turtle
15 Dec 14, 20:04
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you, Milly. Hope you have been enjoying the solitude you were wishing for. :sunny:

With kindness,