Becoming slaves to our emotions

[Aloka]

Dear friends,

I was thinking about how we can often attach so much importance to our emotions that we identify with and become deluded by them.

Why do we cry at a sad movie, feel shocked and fearful at a horror movie - or sing along at a musical ? It's all indulgence in reactions to non-existent fantasy !

The same thing happens when we go to the theatre or opera or read a novel.

We delight and indulge in emotional reactions to so many things in our lives - and some of them we call "entertainment" !

How can we investigate and be mindful in the midst of all this? I'd be interested in reading your comments and suggestions.


With kind wishes,

Dazz ;D

[Esho]

Well, yes... I think there is some sort of emotional slavery.


Why do we cry at a sad movie, feel shocked and fearful at a horror movie - or sing along at a musical ? It's all indulgence in reactions to non-existent fantasy !

Most of this reactions are that... reactions not emotions. Reactions are rooted in emotions but the reaction is learned through social environment.

One can feel sadness or happiness but the way we react to it is learned. We can see son and dad. Dad over reacts when his team has been beaten. Little son has to react that same way so to be approved by dad and then to have a kind of membership; this feedback for little son gives both a pleasent feeling.

The same happens with little daughter and mom. Mom cries when the beloved one in the soap opera dies; so too, little daughter. This is a happy family. Everybody belongs to everybody.

Some settings trigger the response to an emotion. A tavern or a saloon full of rude guys allow some affective demonstrations between them. Not allowed in public. The same happens within a cinema, a pop star show a stadium or a music hall. This settings are to controll the reaction of a felt emotion.

If we are unaware of this we are in slavery about our emotions. We just go through the emotional burst without being aware of it.

Just 2 cents,

;D

[Aloka]

Most of this reactions are that... reactions not emotions. Reactions are rooted in emotions but the reaction is learned through social environment.

I know from my own past experience that when I cried at a sad story in a movie, it was because I was emotionally involved in the storyline, as if it was a real situation unfolding. Crying during the last movie I ever went to in a cinema - Brokeback Mountain - was because I was emotionally involved in what was happening in the film and nothing to do with learned behaviors. ( I stopped going to movies because after feeling increasingly that it was a ridiculous way to spend my time, I finally just lost interest in them completely)

I don't think social environment is always necessarily a factor in the way we behave, though I agree that we can learn some of our behaviors from social or "class" groupings, if we never examine them for what they are.

[FBM]

Romantic love? Love for one's family members, friends, etc. How are these any different, really? The ultimate delusion is love for oneself, one's being, one's continued being. Seems that that's the seed that sets the snowball rolling.

[Esho]

Crying during the last movie I ever went to in a cinema - Brokeback Mountain - was because I was emotionally involved in what was happening in the film and nothing to do with learned behaviors.

My intention was not to tell that emotions are artificial or not true. Sadness is felt as sadness and as an emotion is the same sadness here and there. Is a natural and human feeling; Nothing to do with culture or social conditioning. But not the way we react to sadness.

The way we react to sadness is what gives the emotion a sort of property, a sense of self, a sense of appropriateness. It becomes my and our sadness. This sadness, through that conditioning becomes mine. This is what is social conditioned sometimes as the way we express some emotions; I mean, the reaction to that emotions. Instead of "saddnes is felt" is "my saddnes is felt."

For example: A spider. A little girl can feel curiosity and a mild fear, maybe caution to that spider (as was my case). But suddenly mom over reacts screaming loud to it. The girl can learn to over react to spiders and also learn the impulse to kill it as mom did in that past event. She has lernt to give a particular response to spiders.

What I think is that emotions are natural and needed human experiences: Sadness, happiness, anger, etc. But what is learnt is the way that emotion is expressed and also handled. And I think that the emotion by itself does not make us slaves of it, but the way we react, most of the time unconsciously and conditioned.

Or maybe I am confussed about the issue. :zonked:

;D

[Aloka]

For example: A spider. A little girl can feel curiosity and a mild fear, maybe caution to that spider (as was my case). But suddenly mom over reacts screaming loud to it. The girl can learn to over react to spiders and also learn the impulse to kill it as mom did in that past event. She has lernt to give a particular response to spiders.

Hi Kaarine,

The responses we learn through observing our parents aren't necessarily emotional ones though, for example we can avoid something because a parent does, or tells us to, and that's just learned behavior rather than actually bringing our personal emotions into it.

My parents used to freak out emotionally at all kinds of things in life - but even when I was a child, I often couldn't quite see why, or have the same responses as them.


What I think is that emotions are natural and needed human experiences: Sadness, happiness, anger, etc. But what is learnt is the way that emotion is expressed and also handled. And I think that the emotion by itself does not make us slaves of it, but the way we react, most of the time unconsciously and conditioned

Yes I agree that our reactions to the arising of an emotion are important - for example the emotion can be increased/prolonged by dwelling on whatever caused it to arise.

I like this little quote about emotions from Ajahn Sumedho in 'The Sound of Silence':




Whatever way it is for you is the way it is, and that's what you learn from, that's where enlightenment is - right there - when you're an emotional wreck.

:hands:

[Esho]

Whatever way it is for you is the way it is, and that's what you learn from, that's where enlightenment is - right there - when you're an emotional wreck.

So the way I understand this it that we are not really slaves of our emotions?

;D

[Aloka]

So the way I understand this it that we are not really slaves of our emotions?

If we can accept them and gently let them go again, we can then learn from them, and perhaps gradually cease being their slaves. ;D

[Esho]

If we can accept them and gently let them go again, we can then learn from them, and perhaps gradually cease being their slaves.

Great,

Thanks Dazz...

;)