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Dusty2289
26 Mar 13, 01:48
Hi I'm Dustin.

I'm a student finishing up my last year in college. I've been interested in Buddhism since I was young. And in the last three years have been associated with a Theravada monastery, going on retreats, studying a bit of the canon, and trying to meditate.

At this point in my life the decision to genuinely pursue ordaining in the future has come to fruition. But I'll see when I've finished with school and paid off my debts, which will unfortunately be about another couple years.

This year I experimented with hallucinogens and realized that it was all delusion. I stopped use and am now on track, meditating daily, etc. But I have found some very strange states in meditation that are probably present due to my drug use. I'd like to understand these states. I've been using Ajahn Chah's teachings with regard to meditation practice, and Buddhist practice in general. And of course the suttas.

But really if there is anything I know from Ajahn Chah is that you need to practice. Make the mind calm, and investigate the various sensations and impulses, and I guess you need to have a right way of investigating which is hopefully present due to the calm. I can't be sure. I spent a retreat at the monastery I go to and meditated in a way that I thought was right. My mind really did feel calm and I felt that I could cut my mind off from proliferation and investigate rightly. It's really that experience that has made me so determined. I just think I had a taste of what right practice is, and my mind isn't forgetting. I might be living at school doing schoolwork and stressing, but continually I need to come back to the teachings of Buddhism. I have to have mindfulness. And sometimes I do, but sometimes I don't. I have a feeling a lot of my attachments are holding me back. School and my debts, my parents.

First I came to school to become a professor. Now I am dispassionate with respect to that course. But really throughout these last few years I've been cutting off a lot of desires. Now I'm just starting to take a nibble at my ego and to let go little by little of the various conceptions I have of my self. It's a slow process though. So I'll be looking on here for advice, and giving some if I think I can. Thanks for listening.

Aloka
26 Mar 13, 02:01
Hi Dustin,:wave:

Thank you for introducing youself and welcome to BWB!

with kind wishes

Aloka :hands:

Esho
26 Mar 13, 02:17
Be welcome to BWB, Dustin!

:wave:

woodscooter
26 Mar 13, 09:37
Hi Dusty2289,

Welcome to Buddhism Without Boundaries!

Woodscooter.