Unusual Side-effects from Meditation.

[JCC]

Here lately, I've been practicing Pure Land Buddhism, but I have practiced Theravada for about 4 years. I usually meditate with the Namo Amitabha formula, but I do it silently, breathe in Namo, breathe out Amitabha. I'm not sure if it's correct, but it works for me. But here lately, and I'm not sure if my mind is becoming clearer or what but either during or at some random times a random memory with strong emotions pop up in my head in full clarity as if I'm watching a movie. These memories, most of which come from when I was younger (I have repressed a lot from childhood because I was heavily bullied), fewer are a bit more recent. But the memories bring up within me the emotions, almost as strongly as as they were at the time it happen until I've had time to convince myself it's in the past, its not now etc.

Is this 'normal'? I find it incredibly difficult to deal with in that moment of realizing it and I continue to have a 'nagging/worrying' sensation for a while afterwards. It's incredibly difficult for me to ask things like 'who is it that's feeling it etc'.


Any advice or similar experiences? Anything is helpful.

[Goofaholix]

It's not unusual, just watch the sensations in your body as these emotions arise, change for a while and grdually pass away. Notice the impermanent, unsatisfactory, and not self nature of these sensations.

Don't get caught in the story, don't try to fix it, just watch and learn. gradually these feelings will just unravel and lose potency as you relax into them.

[Aloka]

These memories, most of which come from when I was younger (I have repressed a lot from childhood because I was heavily bullied), fewer are a bit more recent. But the memories bring up within me the emotions, almost as strongly as as they were at the time it happen until I've had time to convince myself it's in the past, its not now etc.

Is this 'normal'? I find it incredibly difficult to deal with in that moment of realizing it and I continue to have a 'nagging/worrying' sensation for a while afterwards. It's incredibly difficult for me to ask things like 'who is it that's feeling it etc'.

Any advice or similar experiences? Anything is helpful.


Hi JCC,

I used to have memories from when I was young which appeared unexpectedly in my mind on all kinds of occasions (such as my father shouting and hitting me). I found that focusing awareness with my breathing and saying mentally a gentle "letting go" with the outbreaths helped to relax into the emotion and dissolve it.

Sometimes also going to a Tai Chi class and learning some gentle slow movements can be beneficial for general relaxation and well-being and they can be helpful to do prior to a meditation session.


:hands:

[JCC]

Yeah, I did tai chi for a bit, though it was for the martial art haha.

Thanks guys :]

[Deshy]

Is this 'normal'?

According to what I have read and experienced, yes. At first, it is quite hard not to be distracted by these vivid memories (in my case mostly fond memories of my childhood to which I have strong attachment to). If you waste some time distracted by these emotions, that should be fine imo. Just let it be. With time, you will learn to let them go.

This is how the Buddha advised to treat past dwellings: http://www.suanmokkh.org/archive/as/n10-45.htm

[Bayleaf3172]

.... These memories, most of which come from when I was younger (I have repressed a lot from childhood because I was heavily bullied), fewer are a bit more recent. ....
I was bullied alot too.
I have been having similar dreams.

[Yuan]

Is this 'normal'? I find it incredibly difficult to deal with in that moment of realizing it and I continue to have a 'nagging/worrying' sensation for a while afterwards. It's incredibly difficult for me to ask things like 'who is it that's feeling it etc'.

Maybe they are things that you are suppose to work out.

Maybe instead of asking 'who is it that's feeling it etc?', instead of ignoring them by 'letting go', you might want to ask 'why do I have these feelings?' But this might be even more difficult question.

Just my opinion.

[Trilaksana]

I haven't exactly had an equivalent meditation experience but I've had similar. I agree with Goofaholix. It's best if we just watch without judgement then I think we can learn something about ourselves.