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Aloka
24 Aug 11, 18:14
This is an article by the American teacher Ken Mcleod who was trained in traditional Tibetan Buddhism. His website is called 'Unfettered Mind'.

Comments relating to the article (two small pages) are welcome.

Removing Obstacles and Seeing the Basis in Relationships

"A relationship between two people means that they relate to each other. Before two people can relate to each other, they must remove the principal obstacles to relationship — reactive patterns. For present purposes, the reactive patterns are prejudice, closing down, contraction and feeling deficient.

These four reactive patterns prevent us from relating to the other person as he or she actually is. When we have removed these obstacles, we can then see what the basis of the relationship actually is. Then we will know what relating means."

continued :

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/four-ways-three-bases-relationships

.

hajurba
27 Aug 11, 06:10
To me these 2 pages are very schematic . Is it an attempt to glue two people together for "mutual benefit?" Do I read that right?
Also I have the feeling that this is too much of a lectures how a relationship should be or work out. I can do very little with this. There may be some essential messages in it....but by knowing that every thing is impermanent it may be far more effective if a young couple which has just joined together shares practice in a meditation center.

Before two people can relate to each other, they must remove the principal obstacles to relationship

Already this statement is a bit strange to me...because most people just join each other and "fall in love" and then dream of a bright future together.... and do not care much about any warnings that there will come obstacles in-between. Probably I just do not get the true message here out of this. Never mind.

Aloka
27 Aug 11, 07:31
Hi Hajurba,

I wasn't under the impression that the article was just about love-relationships between couples.

I thought it was refering to relationships between people in general. It appears to be about finding ways forward in relationships where there are obstacles/imbalances - and I was interested in hearing comments on the basis of that.

;D